@TheTweetOfGod: Instead of looking for things that divide you look for things that bring you together, like the way you all look for things that divide you.
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@MsCarlissima: To convince my boss that I'm keeping busy, I periodically yell "YOU THINK THIS IS A GAME?" into my phone, then slam down the receiver.
@murrman5: [trying to make it work with this really good looking girl that I have nothing in common with] ok what's your 12th favourite juice?
@ArfMeasures: ME: I was having a juice cleanse between 6 & 8 p.m COP: You don't need an alibi, you're not a suspect ME: I know, I'm just telling everyone
@BaileysIrishTom: What's the best way to remove a grass stain? Alcohol? I don't see how getting drunk will help, but whatever.