@ericONEderful: Instead of neutering my dog I just make him wear crocs.
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@garthinkingcap: Throughout history they've removed a lot of key parts from the bible, like how Satan nicknamed his loofah "Loofifer."
@sock_holliday: The person that invented toilet paper is easily the most under-appreciated hero in human history
@aka_fatman: I played the word "mature" in a game of Scrabble. My friend played "immature" and got the Triple Word Score so I flipped the board over.
@Cheeseboy22: Asked my 1st grade students the riddle: What has four fingers and a thumb but is not alive? (A glove.) First response: "My Aunt Lydia."