@Eric_Bader: Insulting me gets you nowhere. Plus, it makes you look fat.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@AtticusFinch79: Me: Babe, can you zip this for me? Him: That's an inflatable sumo suit. Me: I'm flying United today. Him: Don't forget your helmet.
@topaz_kell: When there's a police car behind you with their lights flashing... It means speed up, right?
@AlisonAgosti: If Jesus died for our sins then why are there so many popups when i try to watch a movie online illegally
@moooooog35: Me: Wanna have a quickie? Wife: Sure! Me: OMG really? Wife: Wait. Did you say quickie or cookie?