@Eric_Bader: Insulting me gets you nowhere. Plus, it makes you look fat.
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@Robert_Beau: At Dairy Queen: Me: Medium Heath Blizzard please. DQ: You wanna spoon? Me: Sure, when do you get off?
@mallelis: we put a man on the moon but we can't keep him there. he keeps coming back. you stay on the moon. you stay there.
@jordan_stratton: Please stop telling me how long your baby is in inches. I need something more visually relatable. Oh, your baby was 3.5 hot dogs long? Cool.
@LizHackett: When I was a teen, my parents talked to me about safe sex. I'm having the same talk with them about the Reply All button.