@jwoodham: Internet dating? No thanks. I like the internet, but I don't like like the internet.
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@briangaar: Sorry girl, you know you were dating a bad boy *heads out to fight boss without saving or buying potions*
@Swishergirl24: Police officer: Ma'am do you know why I pulled you over? Me: I'm just as confused as you are.
@UncleDuke1969: Me: Whatcha doing on the PC? Daughter: Looking at peckers. M: WHAT?!? D: Science project on chickens. M: Oh. D: You walked RIGHT into that.
@FKACornshucks: TT: At sunday dinner I like to perform an impromptu puppet show with the roast chicken. This week it's my interpretation of Die Hard 2.