@JohnnyCrash5: [Interrupts the wedding vows] it's open bar right?
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@caliluvgirl77: If you slowly put your fingers in someone's mouth, they will quit telling you about their day at work.
@Wanderlust6190: I'm gonna call my mom 26 times today to tell her about all the nothing that I'm doing, just to even the score.
@batkaren: HIM: You know what we should do at our wedding reception? [at the same time] ME: Murder-suicide HIM: The chicken dance!