@thejessbess: (interviewer): do you have any questions? (me): ya can a werewolf bite really kill a vampire?
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@fro_vo: [first date] Me: so what do you do Date: i’m an accountant Me: oh nice Date: thanks Me: Date: Me: so how many ants have u counted so far
@goodtimenoel: You're all arguing about what color the dress is... While I'm having sex with the girl who took it off.