@thejessbess: (interviewer): do you have any questions? (me): ya can a werewolf bite really kill a vampire?
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@DaHess1: Shout out to bicyclists that yell "on your left" as they pass me so I know which arm to clothesline them with.
@Bob_Janke: If you spend "up to $9000" on my funeral it better be on some kind of mechanism that makes me sit up in the casket when people walk by.