@timdonakowski: Ironically, I only know of one person with the name Common.
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@Wine_Honey1: I love people until they have the nerve to tell me & the inflatable swan that I was passed out drunk on all night, to get out of their driveway.
@chrisdowning: Guys these days will never know the anxiety of calling a girl's home number and having to ask her dad if she's home.
@dlicj: r/relationships I (36m) met my girlfriend (32f) at the exact moment after i sucked helium from a balloon to do a funny voice for a buddy. now weve been together 8 months & Im constantly having to suck helium from balloons when shes not looking because she thinks that’s my voice