@jenstatsky: Is a bath relaxing for Michael Phelps or does it just feel like he's at work
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@_wangwe: Superman's first day at the daily planet. Boss: Since you're new, you might need supervision. Clark: I have that, superhearing too.
@cravin4: Two things I learned this weekend are: 1. I'm not too old to get in a hammock. 2. I'm too old to get out of a hammock.
@jctwritesstuff: Her: Can you babysit? Me: Uh, what do I do? H: Play games & stuff. M: Like drinking games? H: He's 2. M: H: M: So like no hard liquor or...?