@jenstatsky: Is a bath relaxing for Michael Phelps or does it just feel like he's at work
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@junejuly12: Regardless of how strange your life can be, at least you're not the h in chameleon.
@hpb777: Rapunzel is my favorite fairy tale about a woman who finds happiness when a man pulls her hair.
@tastefactory: Young mom: My baby is 34 months Me: Oh really I'm 407 months yeah I hope you like doing math you piece of shit