@Swain_Train47: Is "asking for a friend" just a way people can nonchalantly ask a question while making it seem like someone else asked? Asking for a friend
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@murrman5: *holding your xray up to the light and looking at it* when did you first notice your back hurting? "after the knife went in"
@markhoppus: "The concept of romantic love is obsolete in the modern era" I declare loudly to no one in particular as I grab for another dinner roll.
@bingowings14: My mum tells me that she turns the internet off when she goes to bed, incase you're wondering why your screen just went blank.
@hoops_Daddy: If it looks like a duck, Sounds like a cat, And walks like robot, You took too many pain killers.