@CMHorrocks: Is cyanide the most efficient way to kill someone? Asking for a fiend.
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@msmollybee25: Someone asked me if I'm ever scared that I'll be alone forever, which I thought was so rude because my cat was right there.
@lawblob: Son, its time we had 'the talk.' [dad removes shirt, starts projector, chugs 4 beers] Ok! So Tower 1 steel beams could only have melted at-
@simoncholland: [Produce Aisle] Sir, we're going to have to ask you to leave. *mouthful of like 20 grapes * "That lady took one too!!"