@1evilidiot: Is it too early to start drinking? - some moron with a clock.
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@KevinFarzad: Following politics is fun cuz it combines the entertainment of reality TV with the thrill of possibly dying in real life
@21stcenturysahm: 20 years ago I dreamed of traveling the world. Now I dream of my kids actually getting dressed when they go upstairs to get dressed.
@dragonsorbet: Me: do you like bad boys? Her: no Me: are you sure? Her: [covers her dog's ears] okay yes