@hasht4g: Is there a hand sanitizer out there that can kill the 0.01% germ?
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@KevinFarzad: People are often shocked when I tell them I'm single because I scream it at them while sliding open their shower curtain.
@SatansTongue: Aw look he's about to say his first words! "Say dada!" *baby opens mouth* Here it comes! *airhorn noise*
@SICKOFWOLVES: AH WONDERFUL I SEE THE JOB APPLICATION HAS CHOSEN TO IGNORE MY BEAUTIFULLY CRAFTED RESUME IN LIEU OF MAKING ME ENTER MY INFORMATION LINE BY LINE ONTO SOME SORT OF WEBSITE FROM THE 1800S
@hasht4g: If Pringles really wanted the fun to never stop they'd make those tube things like 5 feet long.