@RobDenBleyker: Is there an app that makes the flatline noise? Bet I could freak out some nurses.
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@haleysfalling: accidentally added a "z" to the end of the word "think" in a text and suddenly my jeans are sagging below my ass and i have 3 chains on
@take2skw: I use words like "acquiesce" and "ubiquitous" in daily conversation and then I throw in a "for reals yo" just to stay mysterious.
@KeetPotato: GF: "you're so childish" me: "it's my day too linda" [we sit in silence] wedding planner: "so is that a yes or a no on the bouncy castle?"
@JohnLyonTweets: Her: You're an insensitive jerk. Me: Her: You only think about yourself. Me: Her: And your tweets aren't funny. Me: YOU TAKE THAT BACK!