@Blarebare: Is Vanilla Ice's son named Vanilla Extract? Cuz he should be.
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@DaHess1: "We heard reports that some guy saw a snowflake one time somewhere so we better cancel 5,000 flights." - Airlines
@Adar79Angie: I wish my car ran on shattered dreams instead of gas. I'd be able to make it to Canada on my failed ninja goals alone.
@juliussharpe: Dating is good practice for parenting because you learn not to care when someone is crying in a restaurant.
@ChipKellysBalls: Why is there an eject button on the DVD remote? You still have to get up & take the disc out. It's like having a remote to open the fridge.