@ghostkrogh: isaac newtown got hit in the head & invented calculus. i broke my nose last night when I was drunk & invented a louder version of crying.
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@Love_bug1016: What, I'm Asian? *slides off Uggs & infinity scarf inside Starbucks* *buys a bonsai tree*
@Just_Lee_: The world is full of terrible people, but there's none so evil as the man who fries bacon right next door to the gym.
@PFPTMillsy: How to cook the perfect amount of pasta: 1. Pour out how much you think you need 2. Wrong