@clarkekant: ISIS, meet ebola. Ebola, meet ISIS. Problem solved.
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@dinnersruined: DATE: *sighs* You said you were a professional body builder. ME: I am! I make prosthetics. Ha ha! And funny jokes! Wait where are you going?
@CJhooray: "Damn do you have a wizard wand in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? ;)" *pulls wand from pocket* "I haven't been happy in years"
@thetigersez: Sometimes I think I should try to be a better person, but then I remember I'm good-looking, so I'm, like, nah.