@insanelynormal1: It all went downhill when he texted me he's abscessed with me.
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@stevevsninjas: [speed dating] Her: So, what do you do to unwind? Mummy: I avoid that at all costs.
@imteddybless: attention men: pls stop telling us you want to go down on us for "hours". thats way too long. we have stuff to do. i've got a lasagne cookin
@SocialustGal13: Let's make a deal. You sing Christmas music in the office and I'll leave 5 minutes early to let the air out of your tires. Deal?