@usermcuserface: It concerns me as a parent that damn near every Disney movie shows kids if your parents die you'll become royalty and have a great life.
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@Tommytoughstuff: [dinner party] *host clinks glass* "Everyone we're having a baby"! *whispers to other guest* "Oh come on! I told them I was a vegetarian."
@Book_Krazy: I secretly replaced my husbands coffee with the empty toilet paper roll he left in the bathroom. Let's see if he notices.