@KentTheG: It costs today's parents $235,000 to raise a child. And that's just for the alcohol.
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@notacroc: Sensei: always expect the unexpected *pulls out picnic blanket* Me: *instantly pulls out picnic basket* Sensei: *hands me ninja diploma*
@TrainedHedonist: Perverts have made it so you can't even park your makeshift surveillance van conspicuously outside girls' college diving team meets anymore.
@runawaycupcake: Turns out if you speak with an English accent during an interview it's expected that you'll continue to speak w/accent after you're hired