@KentTheG: It costs today's parents $235,000 to raise a child. And that's just for the alcohol.
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@jakob_huber: On a bad dinner date? Bump the table with your knee to make the water in your glass ripple. Claim a T-Rex is coming. Sprint out the door.
@Sarcasticsapien: So many people are worried that The Walking Dead could happen and I'm over here terrified that Idiocracy is actually happening.
@mommy_cusses: Person: Hi, my name is *my brain plays 3 seconds of air horn* Me: I'm sorry, what was that? Person: I'm *air horn* Me: Again? Person: