@Mikecanrant: It doesn't matter how windy it is or how fast you run, dogs make terrible kites.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@KrangTNelson: RUNNER: this is called "carbo-loading. we eat lots of heavy food ME: that's great. love it RUNNER: then we go for a nice long run ME: no
@kaytaa: Sometimes I ask my husband to put away the clean dishes so I can play kitchen scavenger hunt next time I need something.
@AngstromHoot: Attenborough has no respect for crabs. Always gives them ridiculous music. They are jesters to him
@BuckyIsotope: WIFE: *yells into basement* Our savings account is entirely empty. Do you know what happened? ME: *assembling robot monkey butler* No idea