@hotdogsladies: Conjecture: At some point in 2013, our neighbors will get so high that they accidentally sell their own weed. For weed money. To buy weed.

@JohnLyonTweets: Went on blind date, woke up in bathtub with kidney gone. 6 out of 10, would date again.

@KenJennings: The Super Bowl is over, everyone. Time to briefly learn the names of some Winter Olympians.

@Ameiam: I'm really surprised I decided to get Botox. At least I think I'm surprised, I can't really tell.

@Donna_McCoy: Just turned a corner and bumped into a woman with drawn-on eyebrows. I'm not sure which of us was more surprised.