@green_eyed_doll: It must be hard to judge a wet t-shirt contest. I saw one recently and all the t-shirts looked equally wet.
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@markleggett: I often think "Why would anyone live in Gotham? It's a shithole!", but then you choose to live in the shithole that is [YOUR CITY NAME].
@Cpin42: Realizing his terrible mistake, Judas bitterly hurled his half-eaten Klondike bar into the sea.
@simoncholland: You could make dinner for a toddler, or you could just cut out the middle man & throw away a plate of food and squirt ketchup on the dog.
@TheDreamGhoul: "you're breaking up with me, here? and now?!" "it's just not working out" *both continue pedaling tandem bicycle in silence*