@jakob_huber: It saddens me that the closest my car will ever get to being a Transformer is when I fold in the side mirrors.
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@BubblesnBooze: It's funny how your tweets are funnier now that I know you're hot. -everyone on Twitter
@iwearaonesie: mom: Why are your eyes red? Are you high!? [flashback to me cry-singing Taylor Swift's "Love Story" in the car on the way over] me: Yes