@jakob_huber: It saddens me that the closest my car will ever get to being a Transformer is when I fold in the side mirrors.
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@NJPsychDoc: My neighbor introduced his wife to me as his better half. I returned the courtesy by introducing my wife to him as the lesser of two evils.
@roostermustache: Me: if u take an opinion and subtract 3.14, you're just left with onion. pretty crazy huh Girl at the bar im flirting with: *takes 9 shots*