@jakob_huber: It saddens me that the closest my car will ever get to being a Transformer is when I fold in the side mirrors.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@sammyrhodes: There is no peer pressure like washing your hands because someone else walked into the bathroom.
@weenbeans: I'll usually order the chicken sandwich. I like my food to be more cowardly than I am.
@brynnester: [Flight] Cabin Crew: The pilot & co are dead. Is there anyone on board who can fly the plane? Harrison Ford: I can CC: Anyone else at all?
@HysteriaBarbie: Me: Shot through the heart 911: What is your location? Me: And you're to blame 911: Pardon? Me: You give love a bad name 911: I'm hanging up