@vineyille: It says here on your resume that you're "good at traps," could you expand on that while I investigate this pile of leaves on the floor?
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@joe_binkley: (Cargo pants filled with tater tots) "How many do I need to get an Xbox?" "Sir, that's not how Toys for Tots works." "FALSE ADVERTISING!"
@Dutch_50: Survey: Are you a Democrat or a Republican? Me: Labels are for soup cans Survey: Can you tell us which way you're leaning? Me: Clam chowder
@carlyken: I need a career involving less interaction and more pizza. I've narrowed it down to: Pizza Farmer Pizza Hunter Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle