@Tom_Vom: It sounded like someone on a moped was approaching but it turned out to be 1,000 bees on a regular bicycle.
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@ericsshadow: [on a date] Play it cool don't let her know you're a refrigerator [her ex-boyfriend turns off the electricity] "This isn't cool man."
@NicestHippo: I love emoji. No longer do I have to type out "This weather is yellow face with hearts instead of eyes"
@neonwario: What did Mozart say to the police clerk? "I'll be Bach" hahaha. What do you mean they're different people