@Tom_Vom: It sounded like someone on a moped was approaching but it turned out to be 1,000 bees on a regular bicycle.
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@CommonSavant: I use my neighbor's outdoor jacuzzi for bubble bath time with my cat. I'd invite him, but my cat's funny about bathing with strangers.
@causticbob: Be careful when online dating, if someone describes themselves as outdoorsy, they might just be homeless.
@iwearaonesie: the hardest part of your wife going into labor is everyone interrupts the movie by asking questions
@Marlebean: Sometimes I look at my children and think "What did I do to deserve this?" And other times I think "What did I do to deserve this?"