@DontTouchMyWine: It sucks when someone cuts you off in traffic and you have to catch up to them & throw a perfectly good cup of coffee at their windshield.
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@dave_cactus: HER: Are you free Friday night? ME: Let me check my colander. HER: Your... ME: *checking* Nope, sorry, I'll be making spaghetti.
@dlockw21: Cashier: Going snorkeling huh? Me: Yeah. Should be fun. Cashier: Watch out for sea snakes. Me: Hi, I'd like to return these.
@hardlyrelevant: (interview for construction job) Foreman: Your resume is just pictures of LEGOs? Me: (proudly) Didn't even have to look at the instructions
@GianDoh: Toy Story (1995): A young boy's toy chest becomes possessed by haunted dolls, forcing the family to move away. But the dolls find him.