@Heart_choo: It takes a car 30 years to become vintage. It takes a phone 30 days.
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@treywafer: Dear police: if you're going to racial profile, how about you check out the white boy dressed like he's in the matrix
@ch000ch: me: siri, clear my evening appointments, i've got a date tonight. siri: "lol yeah ok. beep boop beep. gotcha."
@RexHuppke: God, grant me the serenity to yell at immigrant children, the courage to still say I'm a Christian, and the ignorance to not get the irony.