@GrumpyComments: It takes a keen ear to pick out a girl's "I haven't finished but I know you're about to, so I'll try to be supportive" moan.
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@comedyfish: If you give someone some Beethoven CDs for a gift and they don't like it, you can always take them Bach
@aparnapkin: "Doctor, how bad is it?" "I mean, you're just not a great singer. I don't know why you needed a doctor to confirm for you, but there it is."
@craiguito: My ex used to say there was one person for everyone. I didn't realise he planned to be that person