@revenge_tanukis: It takes a smoke detector 4 months to stop beeping if you were wondering how lazy I am.
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@Jeffwni: [The Justice League on patrol] Superman: Wait! I smell something fishy… Batman:*chuckles* Aquaman: Know what? Screw you guys. I'm going home
@JasonLastname: They say 9 or 10 is a good age to tell your kid they were adopted, but only IF they were adopted.
@robdelaney: I #respectfully #trot when you let me cross the street in front of you. I salute the #power of the automobile.
@dshack8: Given the number of tampon's wrappers in our trash either my wife is searching for the 1 with a Golden Ticket or shit just got real.