@revenge_tanukis: It takes a smoke detector 4 months to stop beeping if you were wondering how lazy I am.
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@Tierno158: I invented a game where people get so stoned they can barely walk & chase each other around the yard. It's called...wait for it: Hash Tag.
@HavocMantis: Whenever I work out, I wear a push-up bra so I can do more push-ups. If I didn't, it'd be so embarrassing and people would laugh at me.
@WigCannon: Do you know why I pulled you over? "Yes, because I was driving a motorized toilet." I meant this time "Oh. No." Please step out of the oven.