@Freeman4all33: It was so cold UN weapons inspectors suddenly decided that chemical weapons might be hidden in Hawaii
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@KentWGraham: We didn’t have child safety seats when I was young. My dad would put a couple of us in the trunk if it meant not taking two cars.
@OhYeahILied: "I'm not a violent person but people can change", I whisper as someone takes a bite of my food.
@batkaren: Coworker: It'll either work or it won't. Me: Yes. Those would be the two possible outcomes.
@kiel_phillips: ME: I'd like to return a defective boomerang SHOPKEEPER: Ok. Where is it? ME: I have no idea