@TheTalkingPipe: It won't be the alcohol or cigarettes that kill me. It will be my inability to know when I should or shouldn't laugh at something.
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@Moldy_Jellybean: Just when I manage to convince myself that I am a superior and more intelligent being, I walk into a door.
@SadMeterologist: Told my wife I wanted our kids every other weekend and she reminded me that we're married & live together so I'd have to see them every day.
@robdelaney: My wife went on a lot of roller coasters when she was pregnant with our daughter Katelyn, and you can tell :(
@kelkulus: The Indian version of "How I Met Your Mother"is just a single episode called "I Met Her At Our Wedding".