@TheTalkingPipe: It won't be the alcohol or cigarettes that kill me. It will be my inability to know when I should or shouldn't laugh at something.
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@iLikeCatShirts: Boxing is like a dance, a dance where you punch your dance partner until he doesn't want to dance anymore.
@MacAnnabella: "You're prettier than I remember, you were SO FAT the last time I saw you!" TY Uncle Bob, I was 8months pregnant. *spits in his pumpkin pie
@ThaJawn: Interviewer: Please take off your sunglasses.. Me: Nah, I'm afraid you'll see how high I am
@Elizasoul80: What do you get if you cross a bear and a wolf? You get eaten is what you get. Stop upsetting scary animals.