@Jake_Vig: It would be easier if they just reported which parts of the globe aren't on fire and don't have hurricanes.
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@SteveSuckington: "You can have sex with my sister over my dead body" "Umm, I appreciate the weird offer, but I'm just gonna do it in my car"
@beefman138: Teenaged girls post pics of their bodies and they're 'sexy.' I post pics of my bodies and I'm a 'Serial Killer.'
@jackiembouvier: [Tornado warning] Me: It says to seek shelter. Husband: We're in the house. M: They mean the basement. H: I'm more afraid of the basement than I am a tornado.