@clarkekant: It would make more sense to put a teacher in every gun shop.
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@derekblackmon: I don't mean to sound like a hypochondriac but I was diagnosed with the flu today & I feel like it's been coming on for a few years now.
@kelkulus: People who complain that my Christmas gifts are "stupid" and "thoughtless" clearly have no idea how hard it is to wrap a pineapple.
@mydmac: I love eating Swiss pancakes. They're like regular pancakes but neutral, so I can eat as many as I want.
@AnOrangeSNES: "I just called to say I love you." -Stevie Wonder not understanding how prank calls work