@clarkekant: It would make more sense to put a teacher in every gun shop.
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@lafpgh: Him: My brother wants us all to go camping together next summer. Me: Can’t go, I’m allergic. Him: To what? Me: Everything you just said.
@Dirty_Naomi: I love slip on shoes because you can slip them off just as easy to hit stupid people with them.
@WilliamRodgers: Is "drunk" an emotion? Because if it is, I am feeling SUPER emotional right now....
@TheUnseenMe: You know that warm feeling you get when you look at your spouse? It's called acid reflux.