@clarkekant: It would make more sense to put a teacher in every gun shop.
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@MythicPicnic: George Washington spent 63% of his salary on alcohol so I guess you could say I have presidential qualities.
@DrDogMD: PATIENT: my stomach is killing me, doc DR DOG: I've got just the thing for you *hands him a prescription bottle filled with grass*
@jlock17: My ancestors didn't walk out of the jungle, cross continents, interbreed with at least two other types of hominids, survive wars and plagues and cross an ocean for me to have to eat an untoasted bagel.
@ValeeGrrl: My son wants to play the cello next year and his reason is "cuz I'd get to sit down a lot" and I've never felt more related to him.