@meganamram: Itching, flaky skin? Burning sensation while urinating? You're probably on fire!
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@briancthayer: *gazing at the ocean* God: I told you NOT to leave the water on while we were on vacation. Angel: I'm sorr- God: SORRY DOESN'T FIX THIS MESS
@AmishPornStar1: Sweet potatoes are just regular potatoes that remember birthdays and anniversaries.
@bingowings14: My mum tells me that she turns the internet off when she goes to bed, incase you're wondering why your screen just went blank.