@garrydavenport: "It's 3am and everyone is asleep. Must run into random rooms as fast as I can and jump on everything" - cats
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@Breadery: My ex got engaged at Christmas but apparently responding to the news with "LOL" is "a representation of everything that is wrong with me."
@just1fool: I just want to make you hot. Mess your hair up. Get your blood flowing. When I chase you around the house over the last piece of pizza.
@KeetPotato: [dog paws your leg when you stop stroking his head] 1st time: "aww cuuuute" 2nd time: "ha okay" 3rd time: "i am trapped in a nightmare"