@KaylarWill: It's a shock to me that people actually pay their student loans. That's a bill I gave to Jesus
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@Kalarlis: my bf is wonderful but he will never be as soft as my roommate's dog who moved out of the house WHY GREG WHY CAN'T YOU BE AS SOFT AS THE DOG
@BMcCarthy32: if one member of the motorcycle gang has to pee do they all stop or does he just have to catch back up?
@MethShart: David Hasselhoff saves money on tailored shirts by not ordering the first 5 buttons.
@JessObsess: Every time I cook risotto I feel like Gordon Ramsey is going to walk in and scream at me.