@KaylarWill: It's a shock to me that people actually pay their student loans. That's a bill I gave to Jesus
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@pizzajaynow: I've spent the last six months trying to find my Mother-In-Law's killer, but no one is willing to do it.
@shopkins776: *Lying in hospital Doctor)Your back is broken in 6 places. You may never walk again Me)At least I got all the groceries in one trip
@Brianhopecomedy: They must have had a really good laugh when doctors realized that thermometers could be taken orally too.