@sixfootcandy: It's always the last 10-15 peanut butter cups that you end up regretting.
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@thepaulahunt: I am "I have to go to bed because my back hurts from sitting on the couch" years old.
@YourMomsucksTho: Kids now are so spoiled. When I was young we were locked out of the house all day if school was canceled because of snow, we went blind in one eye, lost 2-4 toes to frostbite, ate one of the weaker kids who got hurt sledding, then had a leg amputated, and we WERE FINE.
@dreamthievin: New neighbor came over and said "I'm required by state law to introduce myself." Odd pickup line, but guess who has a date tonight, guys!