@Twits_Giggles: It's amazing how patiently people will wait in line behind you when you're buying tampons.
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@HatfieldAnne: I don't know. “Your goose is cooked” seems like a positive. Like someone saying, “Hey, dinner’s ready. We're having goose.”
@foxnerdrn: Why is it that when your dog brings you things he's killed it's cute, but when I do it we have to get the police involved?
@NotThatKevin: At a local restaurant, I got on one knee and she said yes. 13 years later I haven't got the balls to tell her I was just chasing a crouton.