@Twits_Giggles: It's amazing how patiently people will wait in line behind you when you're buying tampons.
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@jwoodham: GRADUATION TIP: Don't graduate! The real world is terrifying. Hide out in the library. They can't make you leave if they can't find you!
@CM2BTTHD: My half-brothers had a Hungarian dad and an Eskimo dad. My dad was from Wales. Our dinner table was like the U.N...only with slapping.
@dragonsorbet: Cute girl: omg I love this bread [At the next table] Jesus: [loudly, holding up a slice of bread] so this is my body
@murrman5: *buys Sushi for Dummies* *preheats oven* *reads first page of Sushi for Dummies* *turns off oven*