@hipstermermaid: It's amazing that whales have evolved to live for over 700 years and humans have evolved to spread misinformation online! Nature's wonders!
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@TheNardvark: TRAIN TIP: A few minutes before the train arrives at your destination, get up and crowd around the exit so you can wait faster.
@ranndrew: "How'd the date go?" Not good. Too many red flags. *Flashback to her house being covered with USSR flags* I think she might be a communist.
@drinksmcgee: If there isn’t a Witches Coven named “Wiccan Awesome” located in the Boston area, I don’t want to live on this planet anymore.