@RorynotRoy: It's annoying how mirrors are always all like, "Hey, c'mere. I wanna show you something gross about you."
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@rorygneesmith: If you love someone, let them go. If they come back, it's because no one else wanted them.
@AtticusFinch79: Attention Walmart Shoppers - There is someone dressed Appropriately in Aisle 12
@Alex_LaVallee: Cop: license and registration please. Me: (gives cop both) Cop: you drinking tonight? Me: no. Cop: you handed me 2 empty beer cans.
@thejessbess: I wrote a poem: Dinosaurs, they used to roar, but... No more. Still mad atchu, meteor.