@RorynotRoy: It's annoying how mirrors are always all like, "Hey, c'mere. I wanna show you something gross about you."
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@just1fool: Nothing much worse than being forced to listen to someone else's music and not be able to tell them their taste is shit.
@QwertyJones3: ME: Hi I'd like to apply for a job as a contortionist "When can you come in for an interview?" ME: I'm flexible
@Kendragarden: If I were gonna give advice about how to survive leaving your phone at home, it would be this: stare at something else. I chose a weird baby
@Sickayduh: Wife: Have u done anything today? Me: Rode my bike on the back tire down the street Wife: Wheelie? Me: Yes, really, and cut the baby talk