@WilliamAder: It's awkward when I have to pull someone aside and point out that my fly is open.
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@billcheek26: I'm taking my niece and nephew to the corn maze today. If I can't lose them there, I'll try the mall again.
@jjhartinger: To the teenager that flipped me off for honking at you. Your phone is on top of your car.
@Quartzjixler: If by 'paleontologist' you mean I can name all 5 shapes in the box of dinosaur chicken nuggets then, yes, I am a paleontologist.