@luiki89: It's been a horrible morning so far. My ex got run over by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver :(
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@PaperWash: Find everything OK, sir? Everything except happiness! You won't find that at Wal-Mart! We laughed & laughed until my credit card declined
@joe_binkley: Chopped: College Edition. "In your mystery basket: Ramen Noodles, coffee, crippling debt, a worthless degree. Chefs, you have 30 minutes."
@DontTouchMyWine: Him: I love redheads. I could totally see you being a great wife. Me: I could totally see you being a great chalk outline.