@SocialExtortion: It's been the "longest week ever" for Janet on facebook, a woman that I know for a fact works 40 hours has been on facebook for 37 of them
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@Extranaut: Indians will wait 25 years to have sex but not 25 seconds for the traffic signal to turn green.
@2tickytacky: He told her that trees blossom in her presence. What he meant was that she scares the sap back up into them.
@Easy_Tiger__: If Kristen Stewart played the daughter in Taken, Liam Neeson would probably just let the bad guys have her.
@Jandalize: I decorate for Halloween by opening my bedroom curtains as I walk around naked. Pretty scary stuff for my neighbors.