@Sickayduh: [Cruise ship] "HELP! THIS MAN HAD A HEART ATTACK" - I think I can help *frantically covers him in all the life vests* cmon do your stuff

@causticbob: I dig, you dig, we dig, he digs, she digs, they dig. It's not a beautiful poem, but it's very deep.

@CelebrityChez: If I was a drunk superhero, I'm pretty sure I'd be "I Love You Man"

@Raoul_Duke_71: Beth on Facebook "Can't believe its Monday again already"... if only there were some way for her to calculate the order in which days occur.

@Birdhumms: I kept getting my shin badly grazed by the pedal of my bike when I was was a kid, that was one vicious cycle.