@kunalrao: It's called a runway. But you taxi there. In a plane. Go home English, you're drunk.
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@dance_blessed: Lust is not real love and Domino's is not real pizza but both are fine when you're drunk.
@djdarrellripley: I'm the kindest, sweetest person you'll ever meet. However, if someone was having a seizure in my bathtub, I'd probably throw in my laundry.
@KeetPotato: [wife putting groceries away] "where's the bread?" i got mugged "specifically for bread?" [cuts to me feeding a duck i hide in the shed] yes