@envydatropic: It's cute how I ordered 2 drinks and the bartender asked if I wanted to wait for the other person to be seated
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@CornOnTheGoblin: she loves me [takes bite of hotdog] she loves me not [takes another bite of hotdog]
@MattchooFitz: "Matt, you just need to date the type of person that will always be there for you!" [tries to date pizza] [gets friend calzoned]
@genehunter1: If you don't have a bucket list, then put "make bucket list" on your "To Do" list. nnYou don't have a To Do list?nnnnJesus, what ARE you?
@TheSnideOne: What I say: "Does anyone need anything from the store?" What I mean: "I'm off to smoke a bowl in my car so I can deal with all of you."