@TheMichaelRock: It's cute how my wife thinks I can read her mind when I can't even dress the kids properly.
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@Brampersandon_: STUDENT: Will there be a final? PROFESSOR: Does a bear shit in the woods? BEAR STUDENT: *from the back row* Thats none of your damn business
@iAmDelFreaky: Her: OMG! You didn't feed my cat while I was away? Me: Do you remember that time you didn't harvest my crops on FarmVille? Now we're even.