@NintenDom: It's Facebook's 10th birthday today. Let's all click "Maybe" on the event invite and then not show up.
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@rickolantern: [courtroom, on witness stand] Prosecuting attny: If you think she's poisoning you, why did you eat it? Me: It was pizza [jury nods, murmurs]
@therealeatwood: [International Criminal Court] ME: All I said was ‘The Princess Bride’ was good, not great JUDGE: Beat him to death with Hitler’s bones