@shegotagronk: It's fine when Santa does it, but when I see you when you're sleeping & know when you're awake it's "creepy" and "sir, you're under arrest"
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@weinerdog4life: If I was a police sketch artist I would be like "is this the guy?" And they would be like "nope that's a barn" because I can only draw barns
@withanewname: Me: *hyperventilating* 911? BEES! ... EVERYWHERE! ... SEND...HELP! "Sir we don't ..." Me: OMG! DON'T YOU HAVE A SWAT TEAM FOR THIS?
@BoogTweets: Her: If your goal was to piss me off today then congratulations Me: That’s ridiculous. My goal was just to be congratulated for something.