@dietredbull: it's gotta be as much fun for a slinky to go down an escalator as it is for a human to walk on a treadmill
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@FilthyRichmond: Always crush and snort your first pill on the pharmacy counter to make sure they're not passing you some fake shit.
@WigCannon: Do you know why I pulled you over? "Yes, because I was driving a motorized toilet." I meant this time "Oh. No." Please step out of the oven.
@Parkerlawyer: Broke my make-up mirror this morning. I thought people would say 7 yrs of bad luck but mostly it's been, "Your eyeliner is really crooked."