@dietredbull: it's gotta be as much fun for a slinky to go down an escalator as it is for a human to walk on a treadmill
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@mommy_cusses: Let me tell you how you lost this game according to these rules I've just made up. -Kids when you play board games together.
@NYC_Blonde: I want what any normal girl wants in life... A great job, a loving husband and to be the wallpaper on thousands of iPhones.
@sixfootcandy: Me: Throw it back. It's too small. Him: Ma'am, this is your child. Me: Fine. Use him as bait.